Cowboy Rules

Cowboy rules for Wyoming, Nebraska, Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Montana, Utah and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

1: Pull Up your pants and wear a belt....... You look like an idiot!

2: Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked and you look like a moron!

3:Let's get this straight: it's called a "dirt road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No Matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dirt on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way!

4: They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west,
I-17 & I-15 go north and south. Pick one and go!

5: So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6: Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called bein' friendly. Try to understand the concept!

7: If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves/deer are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time!

8: Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available down at the bait shop!

9: The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday!

10: We open doors for women. That's ALL women regardless of age!

11: No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak , or you can order the Chief's Salad and tell us to hold the 2 pounds of ham and turkey!

12:When we fill out a table, there are 3 main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use 3 spices: salt, pepper,and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Massachusetts call that stuff you eat.....whatever it looks like, IT AIN'T CHILI!

13: You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better look good, drive a truck, wear a cowboy hat and know how to shoot!!!!!!

14: Collage and High school football is important as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers, and the Knicks, and a site more fun!

15:Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish!

16:Be considerate.....turn down that car stereo! That thumpin' ain't music to out ears. We don't want to hear that anymore then we want to see your butt! (See #1 above)

17: There's only ONE good God and He's the one we worship. A TRUE westerner will share this with folks who probably don't get it, but we're friendly so we hope you can begin to understand what "getting a life" is really about!!!!